I’m not one to dwell needlessly on the past. I try to savor my experiences as they happen and then move on to newer and greater things. No use crying over spilled milk.
Unless that spilled milk is lonely because it can no longer be enjoyed with a Mars candy bar.
I speak of the American version which was discontinued in 2002. Chocolate over nougat, almonds, and caramel. Unfortunately, I had my first taste of Mars in August 2001 so my fandom was short lived. For a while my dad was able to buy some of the last produced cases through the family grocery store, but those didn’t last forever. For 9 years I’ve been inconsolable. (And before you go running to Wikipedia to disprove me, I assure you the currently available US Mars bar is different as is the British version!) I do love my Reese’s Cups and my Baby Ruths, but it’s not the same.
Some six years later my boyfriend suggested to me that the Mars bar did still exist in the form of the Snickers Almond. This was a potential deal-breaker. He said it was the same in theory. I called over our waiter who refused to take sides. The Olive Garden: forever the peacemaker. Finally we agreed to disagree and haven’t mentioned it again.
To get into such a heated disagreement over the Mars bar obviously tells you I take my candy very seriously. You’ve probably already realized that Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. After I got my haul home I would count my candy a la Silas Marner and then squirrel it away under my bed. Probably not the Fort Knox I imagined it to be, yet my method proved highly effective… until the year I forgot about my stash and my bedroom became infested with ants that spring. All that candy, wasted!
Don’t let your family’s haul of Halloween candy meet the same tragic end. After you’ve had your reasonable allotment, find the nearest dentist participating in The Halloween Candy Buy Back Program! The dentist will buy back your extra Halloween candy for $1 a pound and then mail it to Operation Gratitude. Operation Gratitude will then send the candy to U.S. Military troops overseas. Sweet!
